My dog ate your homework...

"Meine Hundin hat eure Hausaufgaben gefressen." That's what I had to tell a few of my students recently after spending Easter weekend at home. I returned from some errands to discover that Demi had ransacked my "teacher bag," gouging out a chunk of the bag, shredding manila envelopes and old sandwich bags, unzipping pockets to devour my granola bar, and yes: nicking a few corners from student assignments. She looks so sweet and innocent, and she used to be (more or less)...maybe we can blame her recent turn for the destructive on a midlife crisis, since she's turning 10 this year.

In related news, teaching can be really really fun. There are days when I feel that I'm not getting anywhere, and that everything I learn is at the expense of my students' mental anguish. But there are also days when I just love it. Here are some recent highlights:

1. I asked my AP students to write essays mimicking NPR's "This I believe." And in so doing, I learned that my students believe in:
-Aliens
-Dancing barefoot in the rain
-Being mediocre
-Winking



2. My German IV students, as part of their fairy tale unit, had to write one of their own. (See above for our class illustration of Hänsel und Gretel, based on students' descriptions.) They got pretty creative while writing, incorporating everything from a compost heap with appendicitis to an army consisting entirely of toast. We're assembling a book with the entire collection to continue a longstanding German IV tradition.

3. We had a debate today on the Wehrdienst, or Germany's military/civil service requirement. Everyone took on a role, like Billy: "I'm the loving mother of three children," and Ben, who while discussing his lifelong dream of driving a tank, invented an excellent new word: "destroyuieren." That's up there with translating "cowgirl" as "Kuh-Mädchen. :-)

4. In German II, we've had fun looking at different texts. I came across a German quiz show ("Wetten, Dass) that's world-famous for its crazy stunts. We watched two fun examples, although my favorite (which involved throwing plungers) has since disappeared. We also had a chance to read dumb questions that Germans have been asked while in the USA. For example: "You guys have your own language? I thought you spoke English with an accent!" Or: "Are there problems with the German-Chinese border?"

A rose by any other name...

...but really? You looked at this and thought "ranunculus?"

Baby's First Year

A recent college graduate, especially as a new teacher, is kind of like a baby adult. Babies experience many changes and milestones in a short period of time. Proud parents like to keep close track of these milestones and record them for posterity's sake. But not all of you "proud parents" live with me to track my every move. So here's a helpful guide for those of you playing along at home. In the last week or two, we've seen:

1. "Baby's First Discovery of Cheating" - with a textbook open to the vocab page during a test.

2. "Baby's First Confrontation" - where the student acted indignant at the suggestion of wrongdoing.

3. "Baby's First Parent Conference" - with the father trying desperately to believe, against all odds, in his son's innocence.

4. "Baby's First Interaction with the Assistant Principal" - who graciously backed her up throughout the incident, enabling said Baby to navigate #1-3 unscathed.

5. "Baby's First Police Escort" - no, wait, that would have been Baby's mentor teacher a few years back, whose screaming parent visitor required a chaperone to enforce her departure. Guess we'll have to postpone this one a little longer in my book.

6. "Baby's First In-Class Lesson Plan" - supposing, hypothetically, that I had at one point this week (say, yesterday in 6th period) not finished planning class until during their quiz. If this had happened, it would have worked out much better than one might suspect.

7. "Baby's First Proselytization" - by a Vedic guy who forcefully sought to convince me that I was really Vedic and had never realized it, and that by scrapping my belief in Jesus' divinity, I would understand true Christianity. Don't hold your breath for "Baby's First Conversion."

8. "Baby's First Recipe Invention" - apparently African ground nut stew, minus three key ingredients, plus four or five others, still tastes awfully good.

9. "Baby's First Shoefly Pie" - because anyone who leaves their shoes directly in front of the oven is secretly asking for toasted shoes.

10. "Baby's First Credit Card" - nothing says "grown-up" like the chance to spend money you don't have. Look out, King of Prussia!

11. "Baby's First Towing" - um, by the way, Mom and Dad... (It sure LOOKED like non-permit parking.)

12. "Baby's First Time Being Told She Looks Like a College Graduate" - actually still waiting for that one too, since most strangers still peg Baby as a high school student. (She's growing up so fast!)