A week ago tonight, I met a Christian family who live near the Plas Prai dorm and attended our New Year’s party. The oldest child, a teenage boy, moved and talked very slowly. The mom told me that Pharat (her son) had become like this since studying too hard. He sat and watched the events as dorm students came up and chatted with him one by one. I wasn’t sure of his intellectual ability during my brief chat with him, but he seemed peaceful and happy to be there.
On Thursday, during a Sunday School meeting with the younger
female leaders, they told me Pharat had been visiting daily. They felt a bit uncomfortable
around him but invited him in because they felt bad for him. At the dorm, he'd finally found a place where he felt welcome and happy. They had heard
from some of some of the dorm alumni that before graduating high school a year
ago, he had been a good student, without his current issues. They said that on Wednesday,
three of the girls were each bothered by an evil spirit, and they wondered if
it was because of him.
Shortly after those comments, Pharat walked in the front gate
and sat down next to me in our open-air meeting. “I want you to have this,” he told one
girl, putting his krama (cotton scarf) around her neck. She put it on, smiling
but taken aback.
He helped read aloud our Bible lesson, in his usual slow
pace, with his hands hovering stiffly in the air. As we discussed John the Baptist, he told us
he’d been baptized.
“By whom?” the girls asked. “Was it Pastor Sok?” (his family’s
pastor)
“I don’t remember,” he replied. He was quiet in most of the Bible discussion but asked, “Do you all love me? If you
love me, I’ll keep coming often.”
“We love you,” we all assured him. I was impressed by the
girls’ maturity. I wouldn’t have sensed their discomfort if they hadn’t told
me. They really seemed focused on being there for him.
When the meeting ended around noon, we told him it was time
for lunch. He asked, “Can I come back at 1?”
“No, we’re going to a sports tournament. We’ll be back by 4.”
I drove home, puzzled by him. Was it appropriate for us to let him on campus so often? Could we send him to a Christian hospital to help figure out whether his problems were physical, mental, spiritual, or some combination? Honestly, we have our hands full trying to serve the students and some of their families who have accepted Christ. He's outside our scope of ministry, and I might have told him just to come to our Saturday night community outreach. But the girls wanted to serve him, and I was moved by their generosity with their time.
By four, I had a message on my phone from another dorm leader.
Pharat had been seen passing Plas Prai around one, and his shoes and bike were
discovered on a nearby bridge. It’s not a tall bridge, and teens have previously
jumped off it to go swimming in the river, which is probably why an eyewitness
of him jumping didn’t think much of it. After a search lasting several days, his
body was found this morning (Sunday), an apparent suicide. We must have been
some of the last people to see him alive. I'm so glad we gave him what we could.
The leaders told me that they first met him because he was
depressed and his pastor asked them to go pray for him. The pastor also told me
that he believes Pharat was possessed by an evil spirit, like his mom before
him. When she first met the pastor, she was looking for deliverance. After she
believed in Jesus three years ago, the spirit left her alone and she was healed
from a condition similar to his.
I joined his funeral service tonight with many local believers. Though everyone at Plas Prai had just met him, he and his family were heavy on the hearts of many students as well as leaders. The speakers, including this pastor, did a great job communicating the new life that believers have in Christ and the comforting hope of reunion with our loved ones who have believed. We ended by circling around the family and praying for their protection from evil spirits. Normally Cambodian Buddhists picture their deceased loved ones as upset ghosts who need offerings of food, drinks, incense, etc. to be placated and avoid attacking the surviving relatives. Christians often face strong pressure to give these offerings and are blamed for all kinds of family problems if they don’t.
Please pray for comfort for his parents and three younger siblings, as well as other relatives living in their home. His dad is not yet a Christian. Please especially pray that no evil spirits will impersonate Pharat and frighten or harm the family. May they know our God’s power to protect Pharat and them.
His mom gave me a three-minute hug at the end and asked me, “Why didn’t I ever hug my son like this? It was hard for me to show him love.” She struck me as a warm and open woman, but it’s normal here for families to feel awkward about showing affection. I don’t know how much of this hesitation is inherent to Khmer culture and how much is the effects of generational trauma. I believe Christ is changing her, but three years is brief, and who knows what happened in their family in the last four or five tumultuous decades. Evil spirits are a common experience here. Healthcare is hit-or-miss and mental healthcare almost nonexistent. I am convinced she fought hard for her kid, and whatever attacked him, she just didn't have the resources to protect him.
Probably in my first year here, my friend Suzanne commented to me something like, “To gain the
trust of a Cambodian is to hear the story of unimaginable heartache.” At the time, her words didn't resonate. But while I know happy, healthy Cambodians,
it seems to me that everyone has extreme pain in their recent family history. Pharat’s story was sandwiched around two other difficult local stories this
week. They just keep coming at a dizzying rate.
