Saturday, December 8, 2012

Cambodian T-shirt slogans


It is a truth universally acknowledged in Asia, that the point of text on a T-shirt is to look cool, not to convey meaning.  Graphic tees are far more commonly written in English, or sometimes other Roman alphabet languages, than in the local language.  The text might be borrowed from something, like a poem or a dictionary definition or a children's book or an advertisement, or it might be completely made up.  


Sometimes the spelling and grammar are accurate; in other cases they'll switch letters with others that look similar, like "housecleaning services" might become "hoasedeaning scrvices."  I've seen this in other areas, too: motos labeled "Kuwusuki" instead of "Kawasaki," or flip-flops bearing the insignia of "Dolce and Gabbna." 



I have students at Logos who sound like native English speakers, who read classic English-language novels for fun, and yet who have never bothered to read the words on their T-shirts.  I can't fathom this because I'm kind of ADD that way: if there are words around me, I *have* to read them, especially if they seem interesting.  So I'll often read a student's T-shirt, chuckle, and say, "Wow, your T-shirt is so funny/poetic/confusing!" only to find that they have no idea what it says.  One slender girl came in wearing one that said "I'm in shape.  Round *is* a shape."  She told me, "Yeah, NOW I know what it means..."  And they certainly don't spot double entendres.


I < 3 drugs
Note the 3D elements to this shirt: rhinestone teeth and a leopard-print bow.
For the average Khmer person, it's a bit more extreme than my students.  Not only do they not care what the T-shirt says, they also lack the English skills to read and comprehend it if they wanted to.  However, their shirts provide me with an endless supply of amusement while driving.  They're so common that I can't even usually remember them by the time I reach my destination.  While I wish I could photograph each one for your enjoyment, you'll have to settle for the text of some that I've managed to write down.  

How Come You Are Never On TV?

Loud Beats Saved My Life.

Happy Day...Today a great pressure from work almost overwhelms me.

My body is my temple, but sometimes it needs some paint.

Shut up and kiss me already.

Pray for fashion.  (Does this mean, pray for fashion to change?  Or maybe, pray to become more fashionable?)

Don’t make me hit you with my flip-flop!

Hip-hop’s not dead.  It lives on in the south.

Save the Forests Lesbians Jesus Orphans Whales.  So many causes…so little time.

I’m busy.  You’re ugly.  Have a nice day. (Seen on a salesperson) 

FAYE TALK TO ME

Facebook (written large across the back of a fancy blouse)

NAKED (on an innocent-looking teenage girl)

Mickey Mouse Is My Hero

Growing together…becoming delicious.  (picture of Mario Brothers-style mushrooms)

SEATTLE 
Do I look like I used to be in a grongo band?

Don’t let the little GIANT escape.  (picture of a cube cracking with speech bubbles that say “Crack” coming out from it)

Never leave you (picture of a UFO spacecraft)

STELLA’S big project is over now.  (picture of a pink deer with purple polka dots)



These tend to be the simpler, more logical ones.  Others are impossibly convoluted, with strings of random words.  Here's one that my cousin Benjamin saw in Yemen: 

marginalized unforgoten mustangs dirty kansas south live to die the questions haonting style HOW LONG DO SOME REMAIN potassium beridand ferrari nostofayti. 

I would love to meet the designers who pick the text for each T-shirt.  Even after 3 years here, T-shirt slogans remain for me a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A broken system

I'll try to write something light-hearted soon, but I read a blog today by my co-worker and friend Chris DeRemer, and wanted to share it.   The articles at the end are also quite insightful, if you're interested in further reading.

Click here for reflections on a historic event this week: President Obama visited Cambodia, the first sitting US president in history to do so.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The death of a King

King-Father Norodom Sihanouk passed away last month at age 89.  He was a shrewd politician who  "was king, then prince, then king again of Cambodia, amending his royal role according to the needs of the hour and his own volatile will."  He holds the world record for serving the greatest variety of political offices.  He was once the victim of a US-backed coup against him.  He abdicated (for the second time!) in 2004 due to poor health, naming his son Prince Norodom Sihamoni as his successor in a controversial decision.

Appointed by the French as a puppet at age 18 in 1941, he managed to lead his country to independence in the '50s, while undermining Cambodia's Democratic party in order to make Cambodia a "quasi-dictatorship and one-party state."  He then sided with the Khmer Rouge in hopes of "protecting" his country from Vietnam's growing menace.  The Khmer Rouge spared his life, but five of his children perished under their regime.  After the civil war ended in the early '90s, he helped Hun Sen become prime minister by less-than-democratic means; twenty years later, Hun Sen remains the prime minister.  He had a close relationship with former North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il.  An eccentric, artistic, and charming man, King-Father Sihanouk's complex legacy includes numerous films, songs, and writings.  

It was the second-to-last day of Pchum Benh, a dark two-week Cambodian Buddhist holiday praying for the spirits of dead ancestors and offering food, money, and incense for them at various pagodas.  Logos had a 6-day school holiday for Pchum Benh, and my sister, Julia, came to visit (more on that later).  We were returning from Angkor Wat when we noticed that many houses had flags at half mast.  We didn't know why until we arrived back in Phnom Penh.  

The next day, my friend Sovannary filled us in further.  His body was on its way back from China, where he had spent the last few years in and out of the hospital.  "For the next three months, Cambodians are supposed to wear white and black" - traditional mourning colors.  Thousands of people were lining up along Russian Boulevard, one of the main streets in town, to wait for his processional from the airport to the Royal Palace.  Sure enough, out the window of our restaurant, we could see dozens of people on foot in white shirts and black pants or skirts, with black ribbons pinned to their shirts, pouring down Kim Jong-Il Avenue (Phnom Penh streets are mostly named after Sihanouk's relatives or Communist countries and leaders) toward Russian.  "Don't try to go downtown," she warned us.  "Traffic will be insane!"

What we saw: the crowd waiting.


But we'd been planning to see Toul Sleng, the genocide museum, and we didn't have much else to do that afternoon.  So we decided to brave the crowds and see all there was to see.  We started out in a tuk-tuk, but soon abandoned it when it got stuck in a huge traffic jam.  The driver couldn't even turn around - we felt bad.  We continued on foot to Russian, where we felt rather conspicuous crossing...no traffic was allowed on it, but there were hundreds of white-shirted people watching us while waiting to see Sihanouk.  We waited too for a bit, but it was already 45 minutes after the processional was supposed to pass through, so we eventually caught another tuk-tuk and continued to the museum.  


What we missed: the processional came through about thirty minutes later.
Afterwards,  I wanted to show Julia one of Phnom Penh's biggest landmarks, the Independence Monument, which is near the Royal Palace.  It was a few hours later.  Would the area still be crowded?  Sure enough, our latest tuk-tuk driver refused to go too close, and we continued on foot by the Monument and all the way up to the Palace.  For about half a mile near the palace, we felt as though we were swimming upstream through the hundreds of white-shirted Cambodians pouring out from the palace, where ceremonies must have just ended.  

What we saw:
not this particular guy, but hundreds of these shirts for sale near the Monument.
What we saw: next to the monument, they'd put up the King's portrait.
What we missed:
the height of the hubbub when the King's body arrived at the Royal Palace.
What we saw: people lingering outside the Palace.
Though much of the crowd had dispersed when we arrived, it was still a memorable sight.  Groups of young people - maybe Scouts of some type - were picking up the thousands of water bottles strewn across the streets and sidewalks, handing them off to recycling collectors, who must have made a killing that day.  (They get a cent or two per bottle.)  People were still burning incense, peering in through the gates toward his casket, and just sitting on the lawn and chatting.  We were two of the only Westerners around, wearing the wrong colors, and yet I felt as if no one noticed us.  For once, they were all too absorbed in the goings-on to pay attention to the outsiders.

Many of my Cambodian friends wore white and black, or at least avoided bright colors, for the first several days that followed.  A few of my students likewise pinned ribbons to their uniforms.  I don't see many people mourning now, but I do still see his portrait swathed in white and black fabric outside many businesses and even schools, often with yellow flowers.  One of the teachers at my school even attended a service at his church for the king.  

A Logos teacher, Matthew, with others who attended the church service 
I asked my 9th grade English students to read articles about him and respond in a written reflection.  One girl cited a Cambodian proverb to explain her country's attitude toward the king.  "Love your crooked neighbor with your crooked heart."  Cambodians know their King had shortcomings, but their outpouring of affection and gratitude toward him this month has been heartfelt.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Knowing our names


Americans are kind of obsessed with knowing people’s names.  I found that out in the book on French culture that I read before studying in Montpellier.  Here’s a sample scenario:

An American and a French person are sitting next to each other on a train.
American: “Hi, I’m ________________!  What’s your name?  Are you enjoying this train ride? 
(...10 minutes of superficial conversation...)
American: “Oh no, I forget what you said your name was!  I’m so sorry!”
French: repeats name, inwardly thinking, I will never see you again.  Why would I try to remember your name?  And why are you making me repeat mine?

French people, and I think perhaps many other Europeans, will pay attention to the names of people only if they expect to get to know them soon.  Otherwise, they’re often fine with having a half-hour conversation with a fellow conference attendee/ backpacker/ friend of a friend without calling the other person anything but “you.”  If the relationship later becomes important, they can learn the other person’s name at that time.

On the other hand, it seems that for Americans, learning someone’s name is a gesture of respect.  If you know someone’s name, you can be more personal.  It’s a way to acknowledge, “Even if I don’t know you well, you are not anonymous.”  And so, even if only for a little while, we tend to make the effort to learn the names of the people we’re addressing.  First names, that is.  Maybe because our culture is so individualistic, last names don’t tend to matter until much later.  

(Interestingly, in class the other day, my Korean student told me, “Korean culture is more logical.   We put the year first, then the month, then the day, just like we put the family name before the individual’s name.”  That seems to fit Korean culture, where the community and family are more significant in determining a person’s identity than his or her individual traits.)

Khmer culture, and many other Asian cultures, treat names much differently than US culture does.  You don’t have the right to just call somebody by his or her first name.  Instead, you need to use a title: Auntie, Younger (brother/sister), Grandfather, Niece.  To show respect, there’s also a lot more Mr./Mrs., even by adults to other adults they know.  It’s possible to use their name after the title, especially if you’re trying to distinguish between people: Auntie Thida vs. Auntie Voleak.  But often, the title alone suffices.  I’m torn on this practice.  It’s kind of fun referring to everyone as your relative, and it’s much easier than struggling to learn thousands of variations on names that may sound similar to my ears.  But I wonder, does it cheapen the titles of your *actual* relatives to refer to them the same way you refer to the guy who pumps your gas?

As a result, there are lots of people whose names I just don’t know, even if I chat with them regularly.  Every motodup or tuk-tuk driver is automatically “Bhou” (uncle), even if they’re around my age.  (“Bong,” or older brother, is reserved for your husband unless you follow it with a first name like Bong Kosal.)  The woman who cleans my classroom is just “Ming” (Auntie).  I chat weekly with the vendors who have sold me fruit, eggs, and vegetables the past few years, but I still only know them as Ming, Oun (younger), and Bong Srey (older sister). 

As an American, I feel bad about it, like I don’t value them enough to learn their names.  But it’s so common among Khmer people too.  My friend went to a wedding with a Khmer friend who knew all the other guests from church, but didn’t know most people’s names, despite several years of worshipping alongside them and building relationships with them.  This can make phone contact lists look interesting.  It can also make it tricky to talk about other people:
“Ming told me…”
“Ming who?”
“You know, Ming with three little kids, who sells watermelons at the Toul Kork market…”

The other complicating factor is that names aren’t necessarily a constant identifier from birth.  Nicknames here are so common – both to shorten names (Sokunthea => Kunthea, Vichika => Ka), and to replace names.  So I know a girl whose name is Socheata, but all her friends and family call her Noich (preceded by Bong/Oun, depending on their age relative to her).  Another girl, while in high school, lost the school identity card that she needed to attend public school.  Her friend was moving away, and gave her her old identity card.  In an instant, Srey Mao became known as My.  Now around age 30, with a husband and baby, everyone still knows her as My.  From my perspective, it’s a much more laid-back approach to people’s names.

Sometimes it can seem quite depressing through American eyes.  My friend Leanne works in a fishing village with kids who were out of school for a while.  The catch-up school they attend provides them with uniforms, but they have to be measured first to find their sizes.  By the time the uniforms arrive, there’s always some confusion about which uniform is meant for which child.  Why?  Because the children have forgotten the names they gave when they were measured, only a week or two earlier.  What’s it like not to know your own name?

Leanne says, in most of their homes, they’re just referred to as Oun (younger/child) over and over again.  They rarely hear their names, only "Hey, kid," and their family may not even remember the specific name (or names) chosen for that child.  They’re just one of hundreds of Ouns, running around the village.  It’s part of a bigger, darker issue in that community and other impoverished areas across Cambodia. Children’s rights are so little understood or valued that many parents have even sold one of their Ouns to a human trafficker.  An Oun for a flat-screen TV or a shiny new motorcycle.  Which Oun?  We’re not sure, but no worries, we’ve got more.  That’s why Leanne chose this particular village, to help parents and children understand the sacredness of human life: the dignity inherent in being human, in being image-bearers of the living God.

Which name determines your identity?  American culture values first names.  Korean culture values last names.  Khmer culture values relationship titles.  But the Bible values God’s name most.  He has many names that reflect the sparkling kaleidoscope of His attributes, and His name identifies those who belong to Him.  In Isaiah 43, God reminds us of His love for us and promises to be faithful and good in hard times.  He says,

“Do not be afraid, 
for I am with you;
    I will bring your children from the east
    and gather you from the west…
Bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.” (verses 5-7)

His Name transcends cultures to identify us more thoroughly than any other name could.  It names us as: 
   His children, 
     created with purpose, 
       protected in troubles, 
         displaying His beauty, 
           loved and accepted.  

What better name could we have?

Friday, October 26, 2012

Love Story at Logos

My friend Mindy wrote this, but I wanted to share it because it makes me really happy because Phanit and Lyda are both such sweet people and hard workers.  Their cheerful smiles and warm greetings have encouraged me on many a sleepy morning!  I knew Lyda didn't plan to get married, so it was a fun surprise to find out they're engaged.

"When I was a guard at Logos, I watched her walk in and out of the gate every day. I started to become interested in her." -Phanit

"He would always joke with me and say, 'If there was someone who loved you, would you love them back?' I answered, 'No way. I don't want to get married.'" -Lyda

Lyda grew up as the oldest child of 5 in Kampong Cham province. She moved to Phnom Penh to study at university. Her dream was to become a journalist so that she could share the stories of poor people in
Cambodia. However, when her father became very ill with a heart disease, she decided to stop studying in order to save money and support her family. She worked a number of jobs in the city, and at one point was working 16 hours a day in order to support her family.

During this time, a friend from university introduced Lyda to Jesus and gave her a Bible. She believed in Jesus, but her life was still very difficult. While she was working at an organization for children, a foreigner named Steve noticed her strong work ethic and felt sorry for her because she walked through the rain every day to work. Steve
invited Lyda to work for his family, and eventually helped her to get a job at Logos. Lyda continued to support her family, and through her sacrificial giving all four of her younger siblings finished university, found good jobs, and met Jesus! Lyda has worked as a cleaner at Logos for 6 years.

Phanit is from a poor family in Takeo province. He started working at Logos three years ago as a guard, and now he works in the kitchen. When he started working at Logos, he wasn't a Christian, but he learned about Jesus through Robert and Chantorn (two of the Khmer administrators at Logos). He became interested in Lyda through seeing her at Logos every day and talking to each other. Phanit volunteered to help do work at Lyda's house, and would often invite himself over for dinner. Lyda says that Phanit encouraged her through difficult and lonely times in her life. Although she used to think that she would never get married, she slowly changed her mind and started to love Phanit.

Lyda and Phanit were engaged three months ago. They will be married on December 1, 2012!


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

An exciting milestone

It's my birthday today, and Dalis Chhay (my former student and current school secretary extraordinaire) just gave me an amazing present without even knowing it.

All the girls who work in the main office have been awesome at helping me practice Khmer.  When I did a month of intensive language study, I used to come to school every afternoon and chat with all the Khmer speakers, and these girls were both tons of fun and extremely helpful.  I still often chat and joke around with them in Khmer when I'm in the office. But until today, speaking was as far as it went.  


My 18 months of intermittently studying the Khmer alphabet (OK, only one hour a week) just began to pay off.  Dalis' e-mail to me is the first writing in Khmer script that's ever been addressed directly to me, and I was able to read it!


Here it is:

អរគុណបងឈែលស៊ីដែលបានជួយកែ Wednesday Updateអោយខ្ញុំ!!!

អរគុណច្រើន!!!
ដាលិស

Translated, it says: "Thank you Chelsea for proofreading the Wednesday Update (a weekly school e-mail to families) for me!  Thank you very much!  Dalis."

Simple?  Yes.  But it's the product of many laborious hours of staring, copying, sounding out, and memorizing.  And it feels like a minor miracle.

Hooray for measurable progress!  Happy birthday to me!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

The beauty of forced friends

Allyson first introduced me to the term. “Forced friends, that’s all we have right now.” I had recently arrived in Montpellier, France, for the semester, along with Allyson and 30-odd other students from about 12 American colleges. Instantly we banded together to tackle challenges like buying a cell phone, navigating the tramway system, and deciphering our courses at the local university – all in French. We had to ignore major differences, because we needed each other for moral support. As time progressed, we split off into cliques based on similar interests and personalities, and integrated new acquaintances into our groups. But in those first few weeks, all we had were thirty strangers, and Allyson was tired of pretending to be friends with each of them.

I’ve often thought back to that phrase since moving to Cambodia. In France, I soon spoke French well enough to chat with local students, attend a French church, and occasionally hold deep conversations with my host family. In Cambodia, I arrived knowing four words: “yes,” “please,” “thank you,” and “white person.” Plus, I worked about 75 hours a week my first year, which has since decreased to 55 or 60. My 40-odd colleagues have been the primary people with whom I’ve lived, eaten, hung out, cried, laughed, planned, and prayed. Besides my students, my co-workers have comprised nearly my entire social circle here…not for five months, but for three years and counting.

That’s been difficult at times. In college, where I could choose from thousands of potential friends, I’m not sure I would have been especially drawn to many of my current or past housemates or colleagues. There’s too much diversity in our roots, our theology, our assumptions, our habits, our preferences. In fact, I always kind of thought I was too nice to hurt anyone’s feelings until I moved to Cambodia and offended a number of Logos people: not usually Cambodians, but fellow Westerners.  My conflicts have been fairly minor, but for many others, they run too deep to fix with a "sorry:" I've heard numerous times that the #1 reason missionaries leave the field is due to conflicts with teammates.  I haven't personally encountered that, but it's a sobering reality that I understand much better since moving here.

When you’re stuck together, there’s no room for seething below the surface. It bubbles up too quickly. And while in France, I needed buddies to help me brave shopping and studying, here I depend on these “forced friends” for my emotional and spiritual survival. We couldn’t just ignore our conflict, and I couldn’t just live alongside of them with an occasional smile or “how’s it going.” I’ve had to learn to communicate better, to practice respecting others, to live out genuine concern for others’ needs – even when in my books, they were in the wrong. I’d hear marriage advice and think, “Hey, that sounds like what I have to do…with people not of my choosing.” I’ve realized that sometimes, “neutral” is “negative:” I need to be intentional about encouraging and supporting those around me. I've realized how insufficient my natural sympathy and good-will are when others need real love, day in and day out. I'm working on letting Jesus love through me. It's gonna be a loooong process.

Already, it’s been well worth the effort. Many of those friendships that at one time felt “forced” have grown into deep, rich sources of community and joy in my life. Many people who I once had trouble respecting have gone on to teach me invaluable lessons, and to contribute to the Logos community in ways I never could have. I’d be losing out if I traded these friendships for easier, more convenient ones. I’ve learned now to be less shocked and dismayed when conflicts arise, to pray harder about them, and to hold out more confidence that God can reunite us and change hearts…mine as much as anyone’s.

Yesterday in Bible study, we looked at John 17, just before Jesus was arrested and crucified. Jesus spent his last peaceful moments praying for those who would believe in Him: “that all of them may be one,” just as the Trinity is one. He explains why: “to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” Getting along and caring about each other – not superficially, but at a heart level – often speaks louder to those outside the church than words ever could.

Someone at Bible study commented on the unity she sees among Christian organizations working in Cambodia. In contrast to other countries, where missions teams may be deeply entrenched and isolated from others after decades or centuries of work, Christian expats here largely get along with and respect other Christian organizations. It’s partly because the Christian presence in Cambodia was wiped out by the Khmer Rouge and only began to rebuild itself in 1992, when Christians were first allowed back in.  The government told the first Christian foreigners, “You can come, and you can meet for worship, but you all have to meet in the same room at the same time.”

Catholics, Pentecostals, Seventh-Day Adventists, Southern Baptists – they were all stuck together and forced to overcome their divisions. It necessitated that everyone “major on the majors” – focus on the most important issues (Jesus, the Bible, loving others) and ignore their often-insignificant theological quibbles.  Though that policy ended long ago, its positive legacy continues.  This month, Christians of all backgrounds gathered in that one room to celebrate the 20-year anniversary of their “forced friendship,” which grew into an ecumenical Cambodian Bible Society united around a common goal: Christ glorified in Cambodia. God has embedded bits of His image into each of us, in all our quirks and differences. Growing in unity is a messy and difficult process, but it’s the only way we can fully embody the beauty of our God.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Roots

It still feels like I'm going home.  I've since called a lot of places "home" - Doylestown,  State College, Phnom Penh - but Vermont has a claim on my heart that they haven't been able to sway.  After all, my parents moved there right after they married, so I was there from birth until almost thirteen.  My family pulled off a trip there a few weeks ago, straight from my grandparents' celebration in Lancaster.  It was all 6 of us plus Lucas' girlfriend Audrey, quite a feat given five people's work schedules.  Though it was my first time back in 8 years, our visit was a sweet, sweet time for us all.

Very typical VT bumper stickers.  It's not a typical VT car because it's too new to have rust from all the snow and salt.  Just give it a few years...
I was trying not to get my hopes up as we drove across the New York-Vermont border.  Sure, I remember Vermont's beauty, but it can't ALL be as gorgeous as my memories.  I must be idealizing it.  But the whole way in along Routes 7 and 100 featured the streams, lush hills, and charming small towns I had pictured.  I love that Vermont outlaws billboards and fights to keep chains like McDonald's and Wal-Mart few and unobtrusive.  Route 100 took us along the river that flooded worst during last summer's Hurricane Irene, Vermont's most devastating storm in a century.  We could still see the debris and stones scattered far up along the riverbanks, as well as some of the homes and bridges that had been destroyed.

A house near our cabin

A couple days were spent in local scenic areas like the Quechee Gorge, and one day back in Waterbury.   Our first stop in Waterbury was the Cold Hollow Cider Mill, right next to my dad's former employer.  I'd forgotten how overwhelmingly amazing it smells, and how crisp and sweet their cider doughnuts are.  They still had the same video on how a cider press works, and the same free samples of cider in tiny Dixie cups next to a huge vat of cider.


Thus fortified, we hiked the Pinnacle, between Waterbury and Stowe.  The weather was perfect: we got a bit warm on the way up, but the crisp wind at the top left us cool and refreshed.  Afterwards, we drove by our old house in Waterbury Center and stopped at the pond that we remembered so fondly.  I wandered off into the field next to it, hunting unsuccessfully for the wild blackberries and raspberries that my mom and Julia and I used to collect for pies and jam.

The view from the Pinnacle in the direction of Waterbury.
I used to go swimming in the reservoir that you can glimpse on the top left.

Julia and I took Audrey around the Ben & Jerry's factory, but we didn't actually eat there because we knew we'd be getting ice cream twice that evening.  Anyway, the factory is fun even without paying for ice cream or the official tour: you can visit the Flavor Graveyard with elegies for bygone flavors, make free spin art, and browse their fun souvenirs.

Lucas rediscovers the pond by our old house.  The bottom was as slimy as ever!

That evening, we went to visit two different families that have been close to us for as long as I can remember.  Emmett and Dee Hughletts live way up on Camel's Hump, Vermont's second-tallest mountain, in a house they built.  They and their neighbors are too far up to have a landline telephone.  Emmett used to work with my dad, and Dee got to know my mom 25 years ago, when Dee was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and wanted someone to help her find meaning in her pain.  Once a cynical atheist, she became a Christian through my mom, and says that her faith has anchored her as her health has degenerated to the point that she can no longer do stairs and needs a walker to get around.  (Emmett soon followed her, slowly returning to his Christian heritage.)

Julia and me...just call me Jerry.
Dee and Emmett adopted three kids around the ages of my younger siblings.  We used to play with them all the time...it's been forever since we've seen them, and none of them live at home now.  But the Hughletts might have first inspired my long-lasting dream of adopting.  I knew they were fun people, but I forgot that Dee has such a great "crotchety New Yorker old lady" imitation, or that she laughs hysterically at Emmett's stories that she's heard a thousand times.  He DOES have some excellent stories, I must say.  They spent a few years in Philly before we ever got to PA, and they're still die-hard Phillies fans.  They don't own a TV, but they haven't missed a game on the radio all season.

Lucas rides in Emmett's newly purchased bulldozer, bought from an elderly neighbor.  Emmett says it's a huge help in clearing fallen trees, for his own home and for neighbors, and moving firewood for their woodstove.
The Hodgdons, Brad and Pauline, were fun to see too.  Their daughter Kayla was one of my closest friends growing up, and we did many an art project together.  Now she's an accomplished graphic designer, and her younger brother Andrew just graduated film school, so clearly the art stuck better in her family than in mine.  Kayla lives half an hour away, but Andrew is home for the summer and was there with us.  I remember him as a goofy little 9-year-old with pale skin, dark hair, and bright blue eyes, running around the yard with my brothers.  Now he's 6'2", quite outgoing, a beer connaisseur moving to Massachusetts to be near his girlfriend.  It was really fun talking with him - I wish I could've watched the indie film that he and his friends just finished.  They told us more about the Hurricane Irene flooding and its impact on downtown Waterbury, less than a mile from their house.  Waterbury, like other nearby towns, has really united to rebuild and to take care of those hit hardest.  I saw "Vermont Strong" bumper stickers everywhere, even on sale at Ben & Jerry's, as a fund-raiser for flood victims.


A Ben & Jerry's flavor gravestone

Our last day, July 4, Julia and Austin had to leave for work, but the rest of us enjoyed the peaceful ambiance of the cabin to read and lay low.  After dinner, we headed to a local Independence Day celebration at Woodstock High School, eager for a reminder of small-town get-togethers.  My dad was peeved because we were running late for the bluegrass concert and we got lost on the way there.  As it turns out, we hadn't missed much - the next bluegrass band started shortly after we arrived, and the whole event was so tiny, there were about 8 booths and 60 total attendees.  Two high school girls gave us a free magazine published by their environmental protection club and told us about their trip to the Costa Rican rainforest.  I watched a tiny girl in a yellow sundress twirl around, dancing with her daddy.  We hung out for a while at the concert, waiting for the fireworks, but the band was nothing special and it looked like there was a storm brewing.  It was barely 8 PM and wouldn't be completely dark for fireworks until probably 9:30.   Just as we were making our way back to the car, the band made an announcement: in light of the impending storm, fireworks would begin in just minutes.  We were soon settled down on the blanket, watching fireworks go off against the backdrop of sunset and storm clouds.  It was pretty neat, actually, especially with the boom of the fireworks echoing against the surrounding mountains.

When I was in seventh grade, I thought I'd stay in Vermont forever, I loved it there so much.  When I found out that spring that we were moving away, it marked my transition from childhood to adolescence.  I never imagined staying in Pennsylvania forever, and within two years, I'd made up my mind that I wanted to go overseas.  Leaving Vermont freed me in some ways to think bigger, but cutting roots is never comfortable, and I realized in the next few years that my sense of identity was still tied to Vermont's values: close-knit community, protecting the environment, valuing the unusual and the creative.  Though I've spent the second half of my life far from those Green Mountains, I'm glad to still feel welcomed back, and to feel as though they've nourished me from my roots to my core.

Congrats Mamaw and Papaw!


"Waller and Nancy 60 years - what a journey!"  We made little signs to put along the road, marking kids, grandkids, hometowns, and other milestones in my grandparents' lives.  There were a lot to fit on!

Everyone wore these buttons in their honor.

Jonathan, Lucas, and Audrey sport their buttons.
Nancy (I call her "Mamaw"), an only child, grew up in St. Louis during the Great Depression with her mom, grandma, and uncle after her dad passed away when she was just two.  She dreamed of running off to New York City to join the Rockettes, but that was out of the question for "good girls."  Instead, she settled for studying at Washington University in St. Louis, where she earned a degree in modern languages: French, Spanish, and Italian.  She might have gone on as a translator for the UN if she hadn't met my grandpa and "settled down," relatively speaking.  She DID have a pretty cool job that she won't tell me much about.  Once she became a mom, she quit her job, but remained active in everything from belly dancing to quilting to the local DAR chapter, even performing a tap dance number well into her seventies at a Christmas program.

Papaw's wearing a shirt from our "Re-Cooper-Ation"
family reunion in 1992.

Waller (or "Papaw") grew up in rural Kentucky on a pig farm - it was little more than subsistence farming.  He had a pretty tough childhood, heightened by his younger brother's death, leaving just him and his sister.  But he made it to med school at Washington University, where he graduated as an anesthesiologist.  He worked for the military for a while, so they were constantly moving while their four sons were being born - Illinois, Iowa, California, finally settling down in Evansville, Indiana.  He worked loooong hours and saw enough on the job to develop a deep aversion to hospitalization.  It almost cost him his life: around age 60, he suffered a massive heart attack and waited almost 24 hours to tell anyone, out of pure stubbornness.  Nobody expected him to recover fully after his near-death experience, but a quarter-century later, while he's slowing down physically, mentally he's sharp as a tack.


We all gathered together in late June from far and near to celebrate their big day: 4 sons, 3 daughters-in-law, 9 grandchildren, and 3 grandchildren's significant others.  (A few people couldn't join us, due to their location in California, Japan, Yemen, etc.  Lame excuse, I know.)  We crammed into the "Country View Tourist Home" near their retirement community in Lancaster, PA, run by a woman named Dorothy whose copious notes on the workings of the house brought us endless amusement.  The home was replete with floral wallpaper, Bible verse plaques, and articles and photos about generations of her Mennonite relatives who had grown up in the area.  It felt like a piece of history.



We celebrated in traditional Cooper style - sarcastic joking, storytelling, and playing Frisbee, speed scrabble, and telephone pictionary - as well as with a formal dinner in Mamaw and Papaw's honor.  The dinner featured their four boys singing barbershop on an adapted version of "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" as well as an uproarious game of the Not-So-Newlywed Game, which my cousin Katie emceed.  The meal was so tasty and plentiful that over half the cake was left over - a rarity in this family, since sugar is practically a Cooper family value.  Since Mamaw was so sick on her wedding day that she could barely stomach the forkful of cake Papaw fed her, they reenacted it for us - this time in better health.

Uncle Kirk and Aunt Sally score a point for agreeing on Uncle Kirk's least favorite chore.
The weekend was over in a flash, but it was enough to remind me how blessed I am that my family loves each other.  A friend says my family is like the Cleavers from "Leave It to Beaver" - everyone is still married to their first spouse, all the adults get along with each other, and we always have fun together.  Not that my relatives haven't faced tough times, but we truly have been such a happy family by any standard.  Last week I visited Mamaw and Papaw on my own, without the chaos of swarming Coopers.  They said through sixty years, they've always loved each other and never considered ending their marriage.  That's quite a statement in today's culture, and one that I hope all of us grandkids can one day echo.  Thanks, Mamaw and Papaw, for giving your children and grandchildren a strong foundation in following God and loving your family well!

Feeding each other cake, 60 years later

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Yo Han

On Wednesday, my 10th grade student Yo Han Lim was in a fatal moto crash.  Our high school has about 90 students, all of whom knew him pretty well - in fact, even most elementary students and teachers knew him.  He was just hard to miss: boisterous, outgoing, impulsive, the life of the party. 

He loved leading worship and just jamming on the guitar with friends in the hallway after school.  In French class, he would shout out vocab words when we were reviewing them and often knew them, but never bothered to learn their correct pronunciation.  He was always the first one done with quizzes, even when I made him go back and proofread, and they always had silly mistakes because he had rushed. 

In so many ways, he was an open book.  If he was frustrated with schoolwork, it was obvious.  If he was confused, he would ask me a million questions in a row.  If he was excited, he couldn't contain his enthusiasm.  So his major life transformation in 9th grade was well-known to the whole high school.

Yo Han and a classmate presenting each other in French during the French II fashion show last fall.  They went for "le look de couple."

To get to know him for yourself, here's his story in his own words.  He wrote this as a Facebook note in December 2011.

This is a story of my life from maybe second grade? But just the main events :)  hope this makes u laugh :)

So when i first came in to Logos international school it was 2003 january.  I was put in to kindergarden, and i only knew the alphabets. I studied the some english words and i was able to skip the first grade and go in to second grade. Some of the friends i met in second grade are still in 10th grade. :) kinda cool.

Little Yo Han, far left, playing with his younger brother Daehan (in the red shorts) and some Khmer friends
[...] Fourth grade was the beginning of my 'getting in trouble everyday' year. I started getting behaviour contracts and i had to get a smiley face for every class. if i got enough amount of smiley faces, we would go to pizza company and eat pizza :) We also had the thing called "flipping the cards" and everytime a student was loud or caused some kind of trouble, they had to go flip their card and first it was green then yellow then red and then the final black. black meant going to the office. well, to be exact, every week, i visited the office with a black card under my name. and in second semester of 4th grade, i was in the office more than i was in class. I wrote tons of sorry papers to teachers too. It was kinda of fun year.

Fifth grade came, and it was just a normal year. I was mean. Lots of girls hated me in fifth grade. I also fought a lot. I still went to the office. nothing really special though

Seventh grade. This would be the year i would never forget. After i got back from korea, i wanted to do all this stuff that i though was cool, such as skipping school on the day when we had a bible test. (don't judge me please :) i don't do this anymore :) ) and i was caught of course..haha and man, this was a miserable year for me. I had 3 F 2 D 2 C and 2 B's. NO A's haha. I, would like to thank my parents for being tolerant. I also had to prove my improvements to the teachers so that i don't get kicked out of Logos and at the end of that year, i did improve :)

8th grade was a little better:) it was the year of 'lets enjoy before we get in to highschool'  lots of friends, lots of fun. barelly no visiting the office and writing sorry papers.

Then i went to kenya, for the summer vacation and it brought a great impact on my life.  It changed the way i looked at things and changed my perspective on everything.

I came back for 9th grade, and i have to say that it was my favorite year so far.  OUr class Unity was really strong. Everyone worked hard. Many service trips without service hours brought our class together because we didn't go just to get service hours but out of pure heart to help the people and to show christ's love. I was able to exprience what unity was. It was just a year of everything mixed together; happiness, joy, conflicts, responsibility, unity and lots of other stuff. but it was the best year.

10th grade, started with a 'kind of quiet' and 'lets not do anything' atmosphere. I felt something was missing and so did my friends. I hope that after this break, everything will get better, and all i hope is that everything will go well in 2012.

I don't know how God will use my life to glorify him, but so far, its been great. lots of up and downs but its life. who says life is fair and who says there will be only joy. Actually, from sorrow and pain, we gain, learn, and exprience lots of things. So my last sentence would be... I don't know whats planned for me in 2012 but i trust God and i believe that God will make my 2nd semester of my 10th grade even more awesome than my 9th grade year :)

He couldn't have known how that last sentence would be fulfilled.  Ever since that Kenya trip before 9th grade, Yo Han was markedly more excited about God.  This year, he and a friend started a Friday morning prayer group, mostly praying for the student body and asking God to unite students in Christ and to bring them closer to God.  His passion spread to a number of his classmates and students in other grades.  Mourning him has highlighted the spiritual legacy he leaves us.

Performing with Logos friends during a gig downtown. 
Besides God, music was his #1 priority.
Here are a few of the other sophomores' Facebook comments about him.

From Matthew: A Man of God, A True Follower of Christ, He was and still is my friend. I look up to him and will always remember him till the day I meet him. He's now chilling with Christ and all the rest. He has shown me so much and encouraged me through my problems. He showed me that change in one's life really does happen because it happened to him...
I'm glad I had a friend like you, Yo Han Lim

From Becca:Yo Han, you are amazing.  You taught me how to talk about problems instead of keeping them all inside.  I want to be just like you.  I had such a great time playing music with you.  Whenever something goes wrong while we were playing music, you would look at my face and we would telepathically communicate and fix the problem, letting the song end so perfectly awesome!  As we have grown together and studied in the same class for over 10 years, I have seen many changes in you, GREAT changes.  God really DOES have a plan for you and I hope he has a great plan for me too.  I WILL miss you from time to time but I know that I WILL meet you again.

From Moses: "I have the hope in God that in the end, I will be in a perfect relationship with Him and that I will be in His perfect kingdom praising God...I learned that I should have faith in him and preserve in every hard situation believing the fact that He is working in my life, in areas I cannot see and that He has everything planned for life."
-Part of Yo Han Lim's Bible essay about faith-
Yes, Yohan. I am sure that you are in His perfect Kingdom praising God.
Yes, Yohan. God had everything planned for your life.
Actually, His plan for you is in progress.
Because, God will still carry out wonderful miracles to the world, through your death.
Yohan, see you soon up there.

From Kristi, a teacher: When I walked into school Friday morning the Khmer cleaner on the 4th floor (who only speaks Khmer) was looking at the pictures of Yo Han Lim and asking what happened. I told her that he had died in an accident. She was really upset and said that he used to help her clean when he noticed it was hard for her. She said he also prayed for her when she was going through difficult things. This is the guy who John Roberts had to teach how to sweep in 8th grade. The testimony of Jesus working through his life just doesn't end.

Last but not least, Gabie, a student who moved back to the Philippines, posted his chat with her from a while back.  These are Yo Han's words to encourage her:

Gabie, i Sincerly sincerely hope that God will not only get you fired up for Him but bring you to a point where you realize „This is the amazing God that i am worshiping and this is the God that I am calling on to,“ The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. – Proverbs 1:7  I hope this verse can be your starting-offf verse.  To fear the Lord, not to be scared but consider him as the almighty one that deserves all the glory from you!  I will pray for you too! Hope you grow stronger in Christ and there will be times of trouble for you and everyone but having patience and faith in the Lord that he will pull you through it.  God will show you things thats beyond your imagination , He will work in your ways that you never imagined and always stick to this verse whenever you question God of what he is doing in your life and circumstances that you are in that God has put you in to be the light. „For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neithe are your ways my ways,“ declares the LORD. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine –Isaiah 55:8
God loves you GABIE!
Besides Kristi, all these comments are from students in 10th grade.  I get to work with them.  How incredible is that?  I can't wait to see Yo Han's prayers for his classmates continue to be fulfilled through the tragedy surrounding his death. 

In Korean: "Lord, I love you!  :-)"