Cambodian T-shirt slogans

It is a truth universally acknowledged in Asia, that the point of text on a T-shirt is to look cool, not to convey meaning.  Graphic tees are far more commonly written in English, or sometimes other Roman alphabet languages, than in the local language.  The text might be borrowed from something, like a poem or a dictionary definition or a children's book or an advertisement, or it might be completely made up.  

Sometimes the spelling and grammar are accurate; in other cases they'll switch letters with others that look similar, like "housecleaning services" might become "hoasedeaning scrvices."  I've seen this in other areas, too: motos labeled "Kuwusuki" instead of "Kawasaki," or flip-flops bearing the insignia of "Dolce and Gabbna." 

I have students at Logos who sound like native English speakers, who read classic English-language novels for fun, and yet who have never bothered to read the words on their T-shirts.  I can't fathom this because I'm kind of ADD that way: if there are words around me, I *have* to read them, especially if they seem interesting.  So I'll often read a student's T-shirt, chuckle, and say, "Wow, your T-shirt is so funny/poetic/confusing!" only to find that they have no idea what it says.  One slender girl came in wearing one that said "I'm in shape.  Round *is* a shape."  She told me, "Yeah, NOW I know what it means..."  And they certainly don't spot double entendres.

I < 3 drugs
Note the 3D elements to this shirt: rhinestone teeth and a leopard-print bow.

For the average Khmer person, it's a bit more extreme than my students.  Not only do they not care what the T-shirt says, they also lack the English skills to read and comprehend it if they wanted to.  However, their shirts provide me with an endless supply of amusement while driving.  They're so common that I can't even usually remember them by the time I reach my destination.  While I wish I could photograph each one for your enjoyment, you'll have to settle for the text of some that I've managed to write down.  

How Come You Are Never On TV?

Loud Beats Saved My Life.

Happy Day...Today a great pressure from work almost overwhelms me.

My body is my temple, but sometimes it needs some paint.

Shut up and kiss me already.

Pray for fashion.  (Does this mean, pray for fashion to change?  Or maybe, pray to become more fashionable?)

Don’t make me hit you with my flip-flop!

Hip-hop’s not dead.  It lives on in the south.

Save the Forests Lesbians Jesus Orphans Whales.  So many causes…so little time.

I’m busy.  You’re ugly.  Have a nice day. (Seen on a salesperson) 

FAYE TALK TO ME

Facebook (written large across the back of a fancy blouse)

NAKED (on an innocent-looking teenage girl)

Mickey Mouse Is My Hero

Growing together…becoming delicious.  (picture of Mario Brothers-style mushrooms)

SEATTLE 

Do I look like I used to be in a grongo band?

Don’t let the little GIANT escape.  (picture of a cube cracking with speech bubbles that say “Crack” coming out from it)

Never leave you (picture of a UFO spacecraft)

STELLA’S big project is over now.  (picture of a pink deer with purple polka dots)

These tend to be the simpler, more logical ones.  Others are impossibly convoluted, with strings of random words.  Here's one that my cousin Benjamin saw in Yemen: 

marginalized unforgoten mustangs dirty kansas south live to die the questions haonting style HOW LONG DO SOME REMAIN potassium beridand ferrari nostofayti. 

I would love to meet the designers who pick the text for each T-shirt.  Even after 3 years here, T-shirt slogans remain for me a thing of beauty and a joy forever.