Thoughts of a recent returnee

10 years into this Cambodia gig, I don't get that much culture shock. I can slip back into life in PA pretty easily. But I still see the US with the eyes of an outsider from time to time. Here are some thoughts I've had that remind me I've been away for a while:

Something brown is scurrying past my feet! A rat? Nope, just an autumn leaf.

That sugar has sat out for HOW long without getting bug-infested?!?

I just drove for hours and never once pondered death. Amazing.

Oh really, your 3-bedroom is cramped for your family of 4? Try telling that to my Khmer friends who co-sleep with 2-4 children.

What does she mean, I put cucumber instead of zucchini in the soup? It was longer than my forearm and had no stripes at all! I’ve never seen a more convincing zucchini! Oops, I forgot cucumbers look like that here.

Voice mailboxes? Those still exist here?

It's so nice being able to blend in and speak my native language with everyone.

Walking on a city sidewalk. Time to be street smart. I know, I’ll switch my purse to the side away from traffic so nobody on a motorcycle can snatch it!

The only foods in this “international” aisle are pasta and tacos. Funny, in Cambodia, I think of those as the American foods.

Hot water showers and sleeping under warm blankets without sweating… this is the life! It’s like a hotel every day!

I guess these could have all gone in the dishwasher, huh.

Am I allowed to flush toilet paper in this public restroom? I don’t see a sign about it.

How do I get the frost off the windshield again? This wouldn’t be a problem if I were driving a motorcycle.

I forgot to bring drinking water upstairs… oh wait, I can drink water out of the bathroom sink! Yes!

Someone just gave me 20 seconds to describe Cambodia. Ugh. Good thing my Khmer friends didn’t have to hear me reduce their country to absolute stereotypes.

Rats, I forgot tissues and my nose is running… oh perfect, I still have a Ziplock full of toilet paper!

Is it cold enough today that I can wear my big coat without getting weird looks?

The neighbors here are so quiet. Out my window I hear no dogs, no music, no cars, nothing.

Oops, I just used the word NGO again. Did I confuse people or can we move on?

Football's on again? Wasn't there a game just yesterday? 

One stop shopping, all the ingredients, all the equipment, no substitutions needed. I love baking Christmas cookies here.

How can these women pretend to be warm while pantless? Leggings do NOT count.

I’m at a red light in an empty intersection after dark. Do I really have to wait?

“Happy birthday Jesus! We decided to kill about 200 million trees and drag them huffing and puffing into our homes!” Americans are so weird.

The commercials! They’re everywhere! And they’re all the same!

Seriously? My parents’ neighbor has a generator for the 3 days a year they lose power? I have no words.

When we told my 4-year-old nephew that Cambodia is far away, he pointed to a mountain and asked if that was it. I wish, kid. I wish.

I’m driving past a cop and I’m not wearing a helmet! He’s going to pull me over! Oh right, I’m in a car.