The Far Country

"The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, merriment, and pleasure He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security which we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and pose an obstacle to our return to God: a few minutes of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."

-C.S. Lewis

Of all the descriptions that come to mind about this trip, “settled happiness and security” is not one of them. I’ll be staying two different places while in Innsbruck – with family friends, the Granders, and their friends the Miners - and at least two in Munich: first in company housing, then in lodging provided by my course, then back to company housing. All this variety lends itself more to moments of “joy, merriment, and pleasure” than to a sense that I’m home. Even when I return, I’ll be moving to Pittsburgh and then on to more unknowns.

I think I am learning to accept this idea. I am determined to delight in the merry moments, even while I’m aware that they’ll soon give way to something new. I’ve had a tendency at times to remain distant and reserved when starting over seems to take too much effort. I love meeting new people, but sometimes I get tired of all the goodbyes. Despite this, I want to be fully present in Austria and Germany.

The truth is, in the big picture, everywhere I’ll ever live will be temporary. When I wish I could return to Doylestown or State College, I’m just trying to satisfy my homesickness with a different “pleasant inn.” But it would be a shame to forget about my real home. As Meister Eckhardt says, Gott ist zu Hause, wir sind in der Fremde. God is at home; we are in the far country.

P.S. Kudos to Kelly Kophazi, who first shared the C.S. Lewis quote with me, and to Andrew Peterson for the Meister Eckhardt quote. I owe some of these musings to his awesome album entitled "The Far Country."