Grasshopper pie

Thursday was the annual senior class "Pie in the Face" fund-raiser, auctioning off the right to smear a pie in various teachers' and students' faces. As one of two senior homeroom teachers, I was involved in helping them organize it. The first dilemma: what kind of pie filling to sue. Ready-made whipped cream is pricy here, as is shaving cream. (Yuck!) Last year's seniors used meringue, but I wasn't confident ours would succeed - making meringue is a delicate operation. Plus, with no mixer, ten pies' worth of meringue takes a lot of time and elbow grease. Finally I hit on banana pudding as an easy and cheap alternative. It seemed like a shame to waste all that food...it worked beautifully as a fund-raiser, but there sure are a lot of hungry people around here.

A team assembled Wednesday afternoon at the home of Monique, a Khmer girl who lived with relatives in California until two years ago. I knew her neighborhood was upscale, but wasn't prepared for the fishpond in the living room, the bathroom sink made of shimmering glass, or the seven servants hovering around us. When one cook finally arrived with the ingredients, we abandoned our Uno game and dove in.

We easily mixed up the pudding, and Monique even added Kool-Aid last-minute for a deep rose tone. Because of the cook's delay, the other students had to leave after we made the first of two batches. Monique invited me to eat dinner before continuing. I seized the opportunity, partly bause I don't know her very well yet, and partly because I was really enjoying our conversation. She's very American, having grown up in a mostly-white US community. It was neat talking to her about the culture shock two years ago of being treated like a princess at her parents' house. (And "princess" really is how she's treated, in terms of both privileges and responsibilities.) She became a Christian shortly after starting at Logos, much to her parents' chagrin, and struggles to find any common ground with them. During our entire dinner, her mom never once looked at either of us.

Thursday morning, the seniors added Monique's secret ingredient: fried bugs! We had beetles, crickets, and more, but the tarantulas caused by far the biggest stir. The victims were pretty grossed out, especially my roommate Megan - I didn't realize how much she dreads spiders! Thankfully, her pie just had crickets, but I'm living in fear of her retaliation. Most people were resigned to their fate, though they agreed that the smell (vaguely like vomit?) lingered for hours.

The auction started slow, but soon students really got into bidding. We ultimately earned enough for our class trip, sparing us the need for other fund-raisers we had considered. The pie filling *did* look pretty remarkable on faces, even if it wasn't the traditional look that meringue or whipped cream would yield. Even students who didn't bid were captivated as each pie was smashed on a face. Dan and Dean, our principals, were great sports. Dan ate a giant spider from his pie, and Dean took off his shirt ahead of time and let students smear the pie all over him. At the end, the victims pooled their money for the right to pie Monique out of pure revenge. I'm so glad they spared me!