Asia-tastic (adj.)
– gaudy or overdecorated by most Western standards, but commonplace in one or
more Asian cultures. Often includes English phrases with no apparent connection to the item.
Most mattresses contain messages like "Hope it was happy" or "Best Friend."
Several of us love Asia-tastic notebooks. This is my favorite - a Christmas gift a few years ago. It's shiny, colorful, creepy, heartfelt, AND 3-D: the earring on the big animal (bottom right) protrudes from the cover.
Missionary midnight (n.)–
9 PM, after which all Phnom Penh missionaries who are still out and about risk
turning into pumpkins. Note: ten years
ago, “missionary midnight” was more like 6 or 7 PM, and today missionaries in
certain parts of town stay out till the wee hours, like 10 or 11. But for most of us, 9 it is!
Asia-tize (v.) – to
decorate a photo with cartoon images, phrases, and borders. Often includes replacing one’s nose with an
animal nose, adding hairbows, and enlarging one’s eyes.
Right-turn lane (n.)
– a gas station at an intersection with a traffic light. Everyone turns in there to miss the light.
Left-turn lane
(n.) – the far left shoulder of the road, past the traffic coming the opposite
direction.
They think they’re a moto. - Describes a car driver who is trying to drive in the left-turn lane, squeeze between other vehicles, or do anything else that is acceptable for motos but doesn't work well with larger vehicles.
Gas station snack
(n.) – the free rice crackers that you get for filling up at selected gas
stations. They’re roughly equal parts air, rice,
and salt.
Pre-emptive honk
(n.) – honking just before you enter an intersection to announce your arrival
to any oncoming cars. This approach is
much more common than stopping before an intersection, though slowing down is
tolerated if needed.
Sexpatriate (n.) – not a polite word, this describes the creepy old white men we see with beautiful Khmer girls who are hopefully 18 already.
Cambodian tattoo
(n.) – a very common burn on your calf from the exhaust pipe of a moto. Can come from sitting improperly on a
motodup, other motos pressing in too close during rush hour, or walking
carelessly through a parking area.
This is not my leg. So far, so good!
Camel toe socks
(n.) – socks or tights with a separate big toe, for ease of wearing with
flip-flops to keep those feet pale.
ATM for cops (n.)
– a foreigner driving a car. Policemen
are paid $40 per month. Can you blame
them for pulling people over arbitrarily?
Personally, I’ve been pulled over only twice on my moto, and both times
I had legitimately done something wrong.
But I'm told that car drivers get much more attention, especially Koreans, because they don't argue with the fines as much as Americans do.
Moto jousting (n.)
– maneuvering among motos and other vehicles carrying long poles while trying to
avoid impalement. If the poles aren't on tractors like this one, they're usually carried by the passenger on a moto, though sometimes the driver has them under one arm.
Cold (adj.) – a temperature
at which it’s possible to sit comfortably for at least 30 minutes without a fan. Anything below 85 degrees F.
Permasweat (n.) – the thin layer of perspiration that never quite goes away, even on days you don’t think of as “hot.” You’re not drenched, but you’re kind of shiny.
This photo is from New Staff Orientation back in 2009. Permasweat has been my constant companion ever since.
Trip to Bangkok (n.) - the pursuit of medical attention for conditions surpassing a hairline fracture or a simple infection. As in, "I wouldn't visit that water park unless you're in the mood for a trip to Bangkok."
Trip to Chiang Mai (Thailand) - the pursuit of counseling. People do visit Bangkok and Chiang Mai for other reasons, such as vacation and conferences, but these two purposes might be the most common.
Pretty plus pretty (adj.) – an outfit that combines articles of clothing that are nice separately, but that wouldn’t match in most Westerners’ opinion – ex. a red paisley blouse with pink-and-green striped slacks and a leopard skin belt.
We had a “Pretty Plus
Pretty Party” several years ago.
White skin tax (n.)
– a price increase specifically for foreigners. However, there’s occasionally a flip side to
this, known as the “white skin discount” – for example, at the
International Book Center, similar to a Staples, the parking fee is
waived for all white people.
Missionary model
(n.) – Remember that cell phone you had back in 2003, with eight ring tone
options and one game? Yeah, I have it now. Some foreigners and Cambodians have much
fancier phones, but there’s a hefty segment of us who love us some old-school Nokia
because 1) they’re a low risk for theft, 2) they don't break when dropped, and 3) they need to be charged about once a week.
They also have a great flashlight during power outages. What other apps could one need?
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