Transition resolutions

I’m moving back to the US in June, after nearly 6 years in Cambodia. I’m hoping I can return to Cambodia in a few years after getting a master’s degree, but the truth is that life is uncertain. So I’m trying to wrap my head around the end of life as I’ve known it since mid-2009 (more or less since graduating college).

I’ve heard a lot of tips on transitioning back “home” to your passport country. You can’t enter well unless you leave well, advises one book. My roommate says no matter how well you prepare and how solidly you build your RAFT (Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewells, and Thinking destination), transitions are just inherently painful and messy. Another friend says it’s OK not to leave well… you do what you can, but nobody’s keeping score or evaluating you on it.

Last weekend, when I sat down to journal about my transition, I wasn’t sure what would spill out. It ended up looking like this:

When I look back on this time, a year from now… or 5 or 10… what do I want to remember? What will it take to have no regrets about my last few months here?

I want to say NO to people-pleasing and YES to people.

I want to say NO to perfectionism and YES to excellent teaching.

I want to say NO to rigid over-planning and YES to intentionality.

I want to say NO to fearing life there and YES to savoring life here.

I want to say NO to exhausting myself and YES to seizing opportunities.

I want to say NO to working “for” God and YES to participating in God’s work.

I want to say NO to legalism and YES to intimacy with God.

I want to say NO to expecting only beauty and joy, and YES to gratitude for beauty and joy.

I want to say NO to apathy and YES to peace.

I want to say NO to showing off false spirituality and YES to surrender and obedience to God.

Lord, you are the vine; I’m just a branch. I need to live connected to You, or I can’t even survive, let alone bear fruit. Please help me abide in You during my last few months here, and into whatever’s next. Please be my joy, my peace, my strength, my wisdom, my vision. Help me to trust You and to live each day here as an act of worship, a token of my gratitude to You. Thank You that though I have no idea what’s ahead – I have no guarantee even of my next heartbeat – You wrote out all my days before time began.

John 15:5,9 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing… As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.”