On maybe losing a home, and finding one

She just wanted to keep her home. As a result, she might lose everything.

In the two years that I've known "Raksmey," I’ve heard a lot about her legal dispute with her brother, a dispute she inherited from her dad when he passed away four years ago. Through multiple court levels and appeals, they’ve tried to establish whether her late father’s estate belongs to her brother exclusively or whether 40% is Raksmey’s, as their dad’s will stated. In the process, they’ve both gone deeply into debt. Now it’s headed to the supreme court for a final decision.

Her brother already has a house, next to the home where Raksmey spent many years with her dad. For most of that time, she and her brother were close and loving. But when the contentions turned nasty, her brother poured concrete in her pipes, padlocked her door, and cut her power lines, forcing her out into a small rented room.

Since then, Raksmey has fought desperately to get her home back, knowing that while the law is on her side, connections and cash determine the winner. Lately, I think she’s continued largely in hopes of selling the house to repay her court debts. (Another Khmer friend has recent experience with loan sharks. Not fun.)

Though a naturally cheerful person, Raksmey has often poured out her latest woes. Her brother’s cruel jibes. Her lawyer’s flaky cancellations. Her apprehensions of losing everything. Sometimes I'm impatient to move onto the main agenda for our meetings, but it’s good Khmer listening practice for me. And despite my task-oriented personality, I want to be there for her. I just don't have much encouragement to offer her apart from Jesus. So when she winds down, sometimes I just nod sympathetically. But often I say, “Wow, that’s really tough. Can I pray for you right now?” or “Your story reminds me of a Bible verse. Let’s read it together.”

She always lets me, and says that she prays on her own too. But she’s never had an answer when I ask, "What is God reminding you of through this difficulty?" Nor have my verses or prayers seemed to help. Despite over a decade of identifying as Christian, she had a falling-out with her church a few years back and has lost touch with other Khmer believers. I encouraged her to read the Bible, on her phone if needed, but she always said her Bible was locked into her dad’s house with all her other possessions, and that was the only Bible she wanted to read. 

On the rare occasions that she brought up God, she’d express things like “God helped me forgive my brother” or “God wants me to avoid temptation”: duty, not comfort in knowing Christ. Trying to be strong alone, she was slipping into bitterness and cynicism. She didn’t just need financial security – she needed inner peace and restored relationships. Though amazed at her tenacity, I couldn’t imagine how she was enduring all this stress while disconnected from God’s love for her. I wanted her to know the power of God’s promises and God’s family to support her. I knew I wasn't the only foreigner listening to and praying for her, but it felt fruitless and gloomy.

Two weeks ago, Raksmey took nearly an hour to fill me in. She told me how deeply her brother has wounded her heart over the years and how much I've meant to her as a supportive listener. She’s painfully aware that the upcoming decision could ruin her life on multiple levels. Before, there was always a ray of hope: another appeal, another lawyer, another high-up acquaintance who could maybe be persuaded to advocate for her. Soon, there will be nothing more to do. Vulnerability oozed from her words. What could I say to her that I hadn’t already said? 

I read Philippians 4:19 to her: “My God will provide all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” And I prayed, “Lord, You were there with Joseph when his brothers enslaved him, when he lost everything, when he went to prison. You never abandoned him, but You used his suffering to save many lives during the famine. Please be with Raksmey and use her suffering too. Provide all her needs according to Your wisdom. What her brother intends for evil, please use for good, just like you did with Joseph. You're more powerful than her brother, or the judge, or anyone on earth.” (Well, that's what I tried to say, only in Khmer so I sounded like a 5-year-old.)

The verse left her unmoved, and there was nothing new in my prayer. I was ready to call it a day, since our time was up. But after the amen, she looked at me. “Thank you so much, Chelsea. You really encouraged me just now. Joseph’s brothers tried to kill him – they were even worse than my brother – but God stuck with him. God’s the good dad who kept loving His runaway child and welcomed that child back home. I need God in my life. Your prayer reminded me of this worship song I used to love…” 

Wait, what? Am I hearing her right? I showed her Genesis 50:20, where Joseph says God used his brothers' evil intentions for good, and messaged both verses to her phone so she could re-read them later. When she mentioned wanting to start reading the Bible again, I asked her, “If I buy you a Bible, will you read it?” 

“Yes!”

I left that meeting very encouraged, but still a bit skeptical if it indicated real change. Would she stay spiritually open, or was she just extra emotional that day? Was she just trying to get God on her side to win the court case, or would she trust Him regardless? Would she really read a Bible if I bought one for her? 

I apologized when I met her last week. “I didn’t make it to the Christian bookstore this week, but I'll get you a Bible soon if you’d like.” 

“Sure, but no hurry. I started reading the Bible on my phone. Your prayer the other day has encouraged me so much. I know I need God's Word.” 

Whoa. She's already reading on her own, after all that insisting she didn't like online Bibles? I'd been thinking if I bought her one, maybe she'd read it just feeling she owed it to me. I'd never expected this!

Today, Raksmey was delighted to see her new Bible. She gave me permission to share her story, and reiterated with a broad smile how thankful she is to have "woken up" two weeks ago to God's presence. She'd long felt lost in fear and despair, but now she feels peaceful and ready for any outcome in court. She's been reflecting on Joseph's endurance through twenty years of hardship before ending up a powerful leader, restored to his family. Likewise, she knows she can trust God and receive His strength for whatever's ahead. She can see His goodness in people who pray for and encourage her.

I told her what I've been mulling over. Like Joseph, Raksmey has lost her home, her father, even her relationship with her brother. And her losses might continue to mount, as his did. But in Christ, she can receive a home, a Father, and a spiritual family far better and more permanent than any other. None of her suffering will be wasted; all of it will be part of a bigger story. Whatever happens to her dad's estate in court, Raksmey has a guaranteed and glorious inheritance.