Wednesday, May 31, 2023

The students I almost missed knowing

These stories are shared with student permission.

Vanna was rejected when he applied to our dorm.

Financial need and distance from the nearest high school are key criteria, and he was a great candidate in those senses. The problem was that he seemed so timid and passive. Vanna had a health issue that local doctors had told him was very dangerous. “Don’t ever do strenuous activity,” they told him. 

Vanna had never helped with chores on his family farm or at his school campus at the level of his teenage peers. Not playing sports isolated him from other boys. He struggled academically, spoke with a slight lisp, and felt inferior. The leaders interviewing him were not convinced he would participate in dorm activities or complete chores like chopping wood for the fire over which students cook all their meals. He wasn’t a good fit.

Then came a plot twist: Vanna’s close friend was accepted and turned down his dorm scholarship. He pleaded with the dorm leaders to let Vanna come in his place. “He reeeally wants to come.” Vanna traveled the farthest of any student that year, from along the Thai border near the ancient Preah Vihear temple, our province's namesake. 

The dorm sent him to a Christian hospital in Phnom Penh, which told him his health condition was nothing to worry about and he was free to participate in physical activities. He worked hard at chores. In grade 11, he discovered he could hold his own in volleyball. Now a senior, he’s well-liked, a confident storyteller in Sunday School, and one of the better guitar players. Most importantly, he decided to trust in Christ in his first year (grade ten - earlier than most of his peers) and has since demonstrated growing spiritual maturity. 


Vanna went home and told his good friend Phannat about Jesus. Phannat had likewise been denied admission to our dorm, but he so wanted to go that he reapplied the next year, meaning he’d have to repeat his tenth grade year. Now in grade 11 at the dorm, Phannat has also chosen to believe and be baptized, and we’ve been encouraged by his enthusiasm, hard work, and leadership skills in several arenas.

Vanna quickly began praying for his family. His parents divorced when Vanna moved away to attend middle school, and his younger sister Chanda was sent to live with an aunt for a few years, which was traumatic. Once his mom remarried, she brought Chanda back home, but Chanda still felt hurt and betrayed. She and Vanna were not close, and they constantly bickered with each other, their mom, and their stepdad. (Dad is no longer in their lives and I don’t think they miss him.) Their mom had frightening health episodes that included trouble breathing. She believed at least some of them were caused by demons, and she spent a lot of money she didn’t have to appease the demons with offerings such as pig heads. 

Vanna wanted his family to discover the love, peace, and purpose he had found in Christ. He wanted them to experience reconciliation with each other and with God. His mom seemed somewhat interested, which upset his stepdad. He said part of his reason for divorcing his first wife was because she had become a Christian. Chanda likewise wanted to hear nothing about Jesus.

But Chanda applied and was accepted to our dorm. She told me when she arrived this past January, she was determined to ignore the Christian teachings, but they quickly grabbed her attention. “We practiced a kids’ song to teach in Sunday School. It talked about blind people seeing and prisoners coming out of darkness.” I think she means “I’ve got a river of life.” My first impressions: Chenda is petite, pale, feisty, and insatiably curious. When most of the other grade ten girls were still too new and shy to answer basic questions, Chanda was asking plenty of her own questions, extending the group discussion.

Before Khmer New Year, Chanda asked me to pray for her time visiting family. “I want to show my mom that I am different, not as short-tempered as before. I want us to have a peaceful relationship just like my relationship with Vanna has gotten so much closer since I came to the dorm. And I want to get her permission to be baptized.” I was a little nervous about her high expectations. “Relationships can take time to change,” I told her. “Don’t be discouraged if it’s gradual. And it’s great that you want to believe in Jesus, but your mom might need time to get used to the idea. You don’t have to be baptized this year.” I didn’t want her feistiness to burn bridges and add needless contention to discussions of Jesus.

They both signed up for the dorm’s two-week Discipleship Training Camp earlier this month after the New Year break, but only Chanda attended. I was curious why Vanna had skipped the camp. “My family needed income from one of us kids,” he explained. “So I worked construction in Phnom Penh.  When I signed up for camp, I didn’t know Chanda wanted to take part too. She’s newer to learning about Jesus, and I wanted her to have the opportunity.” I love this kid! 

Chanda (R) heading to Silat’s home village during the camp

Chanda said she had a great visit at home. Things were more peaceful, and both her mom and stepdad seemed to accept her newfound faith. When her mom had a health episode, Chanda was terrified it might take her life, but she prayed aloud and her mom quickly recovered. (We’re trying to send her mom to Phnom Penh now to get a clearer diagnosis and treatment plan.) During camp, Chanda eagerly listened, joined in, and applied lessons on her own. “I read from Matthew to Acts this month in my quiet times!” she reported last week. Like many there, she was moved most deeply by a talk on forgiveness - especially forgiving parents. 

Someday, Chanda says she wants to serve God, maybe as a missionary to another country like Thailand. Hey, that’s what Vanna told me last year, too! Could they go together in five years or so? Our team has been talking about what it would take to help the Cambodian church start sending missionaries, especially to Thailand, where millions of Cambodians have gone to work in farming or construction. I have no idea where their future will take them, but it’s fun to dream. 

I so easily get discouraged and cynical. This week alone, I heard about debt collectors currently hounding one volunteer’s family, a dad who just relapsed into alcoholism, and a young student in our English class who can't remember anything he learns since a tractor crash brought head trauma four years ago. His dad has had debilitating stomach pain ever since neighbors got a witch doctor to curse him four months ago. The hardship and darkness are oppressive. I hear so many stories about people professing faith in Jesus without fully understanding, getting little discipleship, and quickly abandoning their faith. The Cambodian church is so young and frail, and it might even be shrinking nationwide. I am ill-equipped to understand these issues, let alone address them.

But there are stories that give me hope. There are stories that make me think, “People are really encountering God, and He is changing them.” I tried to limit Chanda’s hope of her parents being open, but her prayers were answered despite my limited faith. Vanna was rejected by humans but chosen by God. He has already played a part in Phannat and Chanda coming to the dorm and believing in Jesus. I’m praying that for all three, this is only the beginning. And as I walk with them, may our encounters with God change me too.

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