Caution: flying rocks

Last night, several former Logos students came over for dinner. One, Chenda, recently returned from a 6-month Discipleship Training Program in Europe. While there, her oldest sister passed away, and Chenda’s been struggling to process her sister’s death since returning to Cambodia. (It was an electrical accident that killed her sister: some live wires were left touching her metal front door. What a terrible, needless tragedy.) Her sister’s oldest daughter is about to take the national exam to graduate high school, which carries a lot of prestige. So Chenda’s offered to accompany her niece to the exam and wait there until she’s finished.

“It’s a lot of pressure,” Chenda told us.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, they all want so much to pass, even though you can go on to college if you fail it. So it’s expected that whoever accompanies the student will help them with the answers.”

“How? Are you sitting next to them in the room?”

“No, but people write down the answers, tie them to rocks, and throw them through the windows.”

“How do you know if the answers are for you? And isn’t that kind of dangerous?”

“Yeah, sometimes people don’t aim well, and students are hit in the head. And I guess students just share the answers.”

“And the teachers don’t care?”

“Well, there are so many students that each teacher has to walk around patrolling several classrooms. So you throw the rocks when they’re not in your relative’s classroom.”

Chenda’s trying to figure out how to tell her niece that she can’t help her cheat. The other two Cambodian students concurred: one is in a Cambodian university now, where students in her class always suck up to her to get help with homework, if not exams. The other has received phone calls from her friends who are in the middle of university exams, asking for help with an English translation. They’ve heard stories of students sneaking into school the night before to remove the glass from the few classrooms that have glass windows. (Most just have a metal lattice pattern.)

It reminds me of a story I heard from an Australian professor working here to mentor postgraduate students in education. She said one of them, the dean of education at his university, came to her one day looking upset.

“I need your help! Last week, I saw a student in tears. She had her exam for my class the next day, and she’d failed it once already. She was so anxious about failing again, and I felt really bad for her.”

“So why do you need my help?”

“Well, I ultimately gave her the answer sheet, but told her to write some down wrong on purpose so that her cheating wouldn’t be too obvious.”

“What!? And now you’re coming to me because you feel guilty or something?”

“No, because my boss noticed the vast improvement in her score and several others’ scores. She told me to meet with her about what happened, and the meeting is this afternoon! What should I do? I could lose my job over this!”

“Well, you might need to be honest and admit your mistake. I hope things work out for you!”

A few days later, she saw him again and asked how the meeting had gone.

He beamed. “She brought the dean of each college to the meeting, and asked us very sternly, ‘Do you know anything about students cheating?’ We all shook our heads solemnly, and she said, ‘Good!’ and told us we could go.”

Shortly after I arrived in Cambodia, there were articles in the paper about the crackdown on cheating in national high school exams. Previously, for maybe a dollar or two, students could buy answer sheets just outside the school. The crackdown didn’t forbid those vendors, but it meant that teachers were expected to confiscate any answer sheets they found. The rate of students who passed dropped that year from the overwhelming majority to a small minority.

I don’t know if the rock-throwing has started since then, or if it’s older. But one thing is clear: Logos’ commitment to academic integrity is pretty exceptional in Cambodia. Corruption extends far beyond the government.

Joining the family

This month I’m doing a homestay to learn more about Khmer language and culture. It makes me sad that I've lived here for 2 years and yet so rarely left a “foreigner bubble." So I'm excited to be venturing a bit deeper this month.

In past homestays, I knew nothing of the city, less of the culture, and MUCH more of the language, so I never needed English. This one is a study in contrasts to those: I’m living with a close friend, Sovannary, and her family, while still paying rent a couple miles away where I usually live.

This doesn't exactly qualify as language immersion. My Khmer is still limited enough that it’s nice to switch into English some of the time, which they’re well able to do, since she and her daughters are fluent. This is the "chicken" way of doing it: if I were serious about maximizing learning, I'd have moved in with strangers in the province who spoke no English and weren't at all westernized. However, this was much easier to arrange on my own, and it's comfortable enough that I can still enjoy my summer and hopefully not start school exhausted. Still, I’m learning a lot about Khmer vocab, alphabet, and culture. More soon on my progress, but first, let me introduce you:


Sovannary: Formerly the owner of a restaurant where I frequently ate last year, she’s the first Khmer person I became close to. If you remember my trip to an orphanage in the province, she’s also the one who took me to visit there. She’s quite the go-getter. A teaching assistant at another international school, she first learned English by cooking for the Americans who started Logos and the orphanage associated with it. She’s very curious about the world and seizes every opportunity to learn, despite having little formal education. She told me, “I get in trouble because I speak my mind too much,” and I can see what she means. She exhausts herself on behalf of her girls, fighting to get them good nutrition and a solid education...not easy, even with great scholarships for them at the school where she works. She’s been an invaluable help in my adjustment to Khmer culture the last two years, and now, a great Khmer language teacher for me.

Her husband, Nara: I'm comfortable around him but always a bit nervous about talking to him. I forgot his name while in the US, and was too embarrassed to ask! They told me to call him by his first name (not normal in Khmer) but I just called him “Uncle” when I have to, since “older brother” is reserved for your husband. Anyhow, he’s very reticent: he probably says 10 words a day to me. However, he’s very laid back, and can always make Sovannary and the girls laugh. He’s a softy who spent weeks weaving a giant jump rope out of hundreds of rubber bands for the girls to play with. He caters food for the school’s lunches and loves playing Solitaire in his free time. He’s the only one who never speaks English to me, although he knows a bit.

L to R: Elizabeth, Chrismoon

Their girls: Chrismoon, age 8, and Elizabeth, age 7. (She’s named after an American friend who did a lot for Sovannary.) They almost act like twins: they’re inseparable, love dressing alike, and amazingly never get on each other’s nerves. They spend probably an hour a day in fits of giggles, mostly at potty humor or at tricks they’ve played on me. Chrismoon is quieter and more obedient; Elizabeth is very bright, but is a total ham who’d rather goof around or charm her way out of finishing her rice or doing her math pages. Sadly for me, they don’t like speaking Khmer with me (too impatient and too good at English), but lucky for me, I learn a lot when they talk with their parents. I spend lots of time with the girls helping them read books in English, or playing games like chess or badminton in the living room, or being victimized by their mimicking and pranking.

L to R: Chrismoon, Elizabeth

Translation of a sample quote from Elizabeth the comedian:
Elizabeth: I'm from Colorado, just like [1st grade teacher] Miss Tanya!
Sovannary: No, I'm Cambodian and you're my daughter, so you're Cambodian too.
Elizabeth: No, I'm not! Mommy had me in Colorado and she brought me back to Cambodia in a tuk-tuk!

The Girls

There are thousands of them. They pack the streets, propelling other passersby in their direction, irritating moto drivers who need to squeeze between them. Their hair is pulled back; they wear no make-up; their plaid shirts or neon T-shirts (or both) create unity across a cacophony of colors. Sometimes a whole block is filled with girls wearing the same headscarf in vibrant turquoise, purple, yellow, pink. Other times everyone is gone, and the deserted streets are hushed.

When I walk among them, every one of them looks at me.

Some give a quick glance, others do a double take, and still others a prolonged gaze of bewilderment. A few smile shyly, which I shyly return. One girl next to me poked her friend and pointed. That friend poked another girl, who poked another, about six total. Never in my life have I felt so completely conspicuous.

I was expecting this, actually. I’m staying with my Cambodian friend Sovannary this summer to study the Khmer language, and I knew she lived near several factories: I’d seen the crowds while driving there for Khmer lessons every Saturday. I figured I’d attract much more attention on foot than I had on my moto, and I wanted to get it over with. So the first few days, just before my flight to the US, I went walking (or jogging, when space permitted) every morning. I didn’t have a chance of blending in, and not just due to my fair skin and light hair. It’s my way of walking (especially during aerobic workouts), my loose exercise T-shirt and knee-length shorts, the fact that I have a good 4 inches on most of them, and more.

The factory girls make up a clear majority in this neighborhood, if not 90% of the population. So if I go out while they’re working (mostly around 7 to 5, minus a lunch break and plus overtime for some), the streets are empty and more conducive to jogging/driving/not being trampled. But since my Khmer tutoring is downtown at 7:30 AM every weekday, I’ll likely continue exercising earlier, when they’re out and about. I’m hoping once they get used to the white girl in the neighborhood, the fuss will die down a bit.

To be honest, I’m as fascinated by them as they are by me. I quizzed Sovannary to make sure my ideas on them were accurate. She confirmed the following: It’s mostly garment factories in this area, as are most factories in Cambodia, producing clothing for Gap, Abercrombie, Hollister, and other prominent brands. Owners are typically foreign – including several Logos students’ parents – and pay substantial bribes to import materials and export the finished products. Besides those lucky government officials, and maybe taxes, Cambodia profits little from one of its main industries.

The rules are simple: males need not apply, nor anyone under 18 or over 30. Housing is available nearby, packing workers in with six or more per smallish room. The girls are nearly all from the province, since the pay is low: about $50 per month. At 40 hours a week, that works out to about $0.28 per hour. (As a comparison, my house helper earns over double that for working half the hours.) Overtime until as late as 11 PM is a way to earn more...if you never want to see daylight. They spend little, sending most back to their families.

“What about all the poor people from Phnom Penh?” I asked Sovannary. “Don’t any of them want factory jobs?” “A few, but most aren’t that desperate,” Sovannary replied, visibly indignant about factory workers' plight and the government’s apathy. Everyone knows most Cambodian provinces face extreme poverty.

Go to the province, she told me. You’ll see hardly any young women left there because there are no jobs. It’s tearing apart families and hurting the culture of the villages. Some girls, lonely and joyless, fall for the young guys who hang around the factories, buying them gifts until the girls are convinced it’s true love. They’re dumped as soon as they get pregnant, and face extreme rejection if they return to the province as a single mom. Some die in botched abortions or commit suicide.

And these are the lucky ones, who aren’t promised a job and then sold into brothels! There are a lot of Cambodian girls that would be much better off in a factory than in their current line of work.

I remember in high school, reading about companies like Nike defending their low wages. They make a valid point that they’re not forcing people to take these jobs, and that workers flock to the factories because pay is superior to other opportunities workers would have. But what if the workers see no alternatives? Does that make it acceptable to pay below a living wage, and to break up millions of families countrywide by insisting on “young women only”? (Unemployment is a huge problem among Cambodian males.)

It just seems like a lousy excuse from huge corporations that could feasibly pay better and consider employees’ needs. They’re exploiting how corrupt Cambodia’s government is and how little economic opportunity is available here. In my mind, it’s kind of like taking a child into foster care and saying, “Well, at least I abuse her less than her birth parents.” That’s not exactly taking the high ground.

These aren’t new observations. Elizabeth Gaskell’s “North and South”...Victor Hugo’s “Les Misérables”...Alan Paton’s “Cry, the Beloved Country”...many acclaimed pieces of literature have decried poor conditions for factory workers and the resulting harm to society. Haven’t we learned anything? Is offshoring just a way to hush Westerners’ protests: “out of sight, out of mind”?

The Industrial Revolution is long over, but a bleak tenement lifestyle is far from history for my new neighbors.

On normalcy

People keep asking me if it's hard to be back in PA. I appreciate their thoughtfulness in asking. Last summer, being back meant thinking hard about who I was and where I fit in, and sometimes that was painful. This year's been far easier. Culture shock has come mainly in small flashes of insecurity: feeling baffled by an iPhone, trying to get the parking meter to work, forgetting that Rendell isn't governor anymore, not knowing what Marcellus Shale is. Reminders that though I slip back into it so easily, this isn't usually my life anymore. I'm a bit out of practice.

One of my first days back, I saw a TV show about girls buying expensive wedding gowns, and I had to walk away - their extravagance made me want to cry, not laugh. That show, "Say Yes to the Dress," illustrates one of the main cultural differences that strikes me when I'm home. So much of TV, magazine, and movie content focuses on rich people: movie stars, athletes, fictional rich people in sitcoms, real Americans spending thousands on home remodeling or new wardrobes. And isn't that the whole point of advertising: making you want/need stuff you don't have yet?

I think these media are part of what enables so many Americans to say, "I'm not rich. I'm normal." It's easy to think, people in my neighborhood live about like I do, and people on TV have far more lavish lifestyles. I play that game, too: Okay, my family lives well, but we'd never buy THAT brand of car. And if we ever had a vacation house, it sure wouldn't look like THIS one. We're still at least semi-normal.

Of course, we know that many people in America and worldwide are less affluent than we are. And we're not heartless: we feel bad for those people. Those poor people. If only they could be normal like we are. Thank God that He gave me what I deserve and need, and didn't make me suffer like them. Because "suffering" must be the word that describes "not having any cars," or "doing your laundry by hand," or "sharing a room with multiple relatives," or "having no use for a bank account." Even if all of those seemed normal to our great-grandparents.

Still, though we're not suffering like them, we barely have enough. That's why my sister's fellow nurses complain about their $50,000 salary. That's why US Christians can only afford to give away 2% of their salary. I'm thankful that I haven't heard much of this attitude from people I know - that many seem more in tune with reality - but it pervades so many aspects of US culture.

I don't want to be insensitive. My dad was laid off two years ago, and we had it easier than many others unemployed in our community. I realize that even in middle-class America, economic stresses can mount quickly, to levels far beyond what I've ever known. Still, the belief that we need and deserve all we have seems so ludicrous in light of my experiences in Cambodia. There, I can never forget how rich I am. I was told early on, "You bought a plane ticket here. That alone makes you rich to most Cambodians, regardless of your spending habits here."

All the examples I listed above of "suffering" describe some of my Khmer friends teaching at Logos, who are solidly middle-class by Cambodian standards. Not only that, but they describe billions of people around the world. A paper on my family's fridge describes a "village of 100:"

If you reduced the world's population to 100 people...
1 would have a college education.
7 would have Internet access.
50 would be malnourished.

Still think you're normal?

I'm still trying to figure out how to respond to knowing I'm ridiculously rich compared with most of the world. But here's the no-brainer: be grateful! We can marvel at the fact that, out of the entire world, God put us into the tiny fraction that has abundantly more than we need. Thank God for your flush toilet, for your clean drinking water, for your mattress, for your multiple pairs of shoes. Think before you buy stuff: Is this as necessary as I thought it was? Or is it a privilege I don't mind foregoing?

And look for chances to learn about "normal" people, instead of just the ones who are rolling in even more dough than you.

Reasons to smile: PA edition

Hugs from people who love me a lot. Many hugs.

Making ice cream cake with my sister.

Peaches, cherries, blueberries, strawberries.

My mom's cooking...all of it. (Can you tell I've been eating quite a bit?)

Hearing, "I've been reading your stories, thinking of you, praying for you." Over and over.

Cheap books from Amazon to take back with me.
Free books from the library, hopefully not to take back with me.
Time for reading books.

Going on walks without sweating.

Phone conversations where nobody has to repeat themselves.

Numerous causes to be proud of my younger brothers.

Moss.

Hair that cooperates.

Uncrowded streets and peaceful roads.

The most beautiful barn I've ever seen.

Remember-whens.

Icy-cold waterfalls.

Being reminded how much of my goofiness I owe to my family.

Silence.

Cold nights and warm blankets.

My favorite old sweaters.

A park located on a lake, not a highway median.

Conversations with my family that don't involve the words, "Nope, the sound's gone now..."

My dog.

Blending in.

Stories to tell - and hear - of God's goodness and faithfulness.

Piling up the jars

I should be grading finals right now. Report cards are due tomorrow, and I have tons to do before they'll be ready. All week, really, I planned to focus on grading and other urgent tasks.

But students' family issues don't always wait for opportune moments, and this week has had more than its share. In the past seven days, these family concerns have taken up more of my brain energy than essays or multiple choice ever could:

-A student finding out they'd be sent to their passport country, to live with a relative they barely know, in just nine days. Their preschool-aged sibling is coming too.

-A first-grade student whose parents don't care that this student is being held back, again. They can't be bothered to come to special needs meetings, or to help with homework. They let the student down for the umpteenth time yesterday when they promised to come to the first-grade Penguin Party, and then didn't show. (The mom doesn't work, FYI.)

-A high school student not that far from that first-grader, still craving their parents' attention while the parents are stressing out fulfilling missionary obligations. All those broken promises still hurt.

-A student trying to end an unhealthy relationship, but being pressured by both families to stay in it and pretend everything is OK.

-A student who has to deceive one parent in order to stay in contact with the other, and yet feels much closer to the latter.

-A student who's an elated brand-new Christian, and yet afraid their parents will find out. "Last time I mentioned Christianity to them, they moved me to another school for a year. What do I do?"

-A student asking to move back with their parents and not being allowed to, even though they're not in trouble.

All of them are well-fed, have access to health care, and will probably never drop out to become a street vendor. They've never faced a death in their immediate family; most have never been abused. Compared to most Cambodians, they live in total luxury. Some of their parents are being selfish, but others are truly trying to do what's right. Sometimes I feel guilty for letting their concerns get to me.

But you know what? If I'm allowed to care about how to get exams graded, I sure can care about their pain. Because it's real and it's intense, even if it's not the most anguishing on an objective scale. And if I'm going to let myself love my students, empathizing is not even a choice.

Here's the other thing: entering their pain lets me see God so clearly. It forces me to rely on Him when personally, I haven't gone through any significant hardships. Taking on bigger concerns than my own shows me that God is bigger than I thought. And better.

I've seen God do so much for students this year. It makes me almost excited to have new things to bring before Him. I feel like the widow whom Elijah told to collect empty jars from neighbors so there'd be more room for the oil that poured out from her tiny container. That's where I am now, piling up the jars and waiting expectantly for grace to start brimming over.

Photos from "Joseph"

Well done, everyone! It was so fun to watch! Congratulations to all involved.