I should be grading finals right now. Report cards are due tomorrow, and I have tons to do before they'll be ready. All week, really, I planned to focus on grading and other urgent tasks.
But students' family issues don't always wait for opportune moments, and this week has had more than its share. In the past seven days, these family concerns have taken up more of my brain energy than essays or multiple choice ever could:
-A student finding out they'd be sent to their passport country, to live with a relative they barely know, in just nine days. Their preschool-aged sibling is coming too.
-A first-grade student whose parents don't care that this student is being held back, again. They can't be bothered to come to special needs meetings, or to help with homework. They let the student down for the umpteenth time yesterday when they promised to come to the first-grade Penguin Party, and then didn't show. (The mom doesn't work, FYI.)
-A high school student not that far from that first-grader, still craving their parents' attention while the parents are stressing out fulfilling missionary obligations. All those broken promises still hurt.
-A student trying to end an unhealthy relationship, but being pressured by both families to stay in it and pretend everything is OK.
-A student who has to deceive one parent in order to stay in contact with the other, and yet feels much closer to the latter.
-A student who's an elated brand-new Christian, and yet afraid their parents will find out. "Last time I mentioned Christianity to them, they moved me to another school for a year. What do I do?"
-A student asking to move back with their parents and not being allowed to, even though they're not in trouble.
All of them are well-fed, have access to health care, and will probably never drop out to become a street vendor. They've never faced a death in their immediate family; most have never been abused. Compared to most Cambodians, they live in total luxury. Some of their parents are being selfish, but others are truly trying to do what's right. Sometimes I feel guilty for letting their concerns get to me.
But you know what? If I'm allowed to care about how to get exams graded, I sure can care about their pain. Because it's real and it's intense, even if it's not the most anguishing on an objective scale. And if I'm going to let myself love my students, empathizing is not even a choice.
Here's the other thing: entering their pain lets me see God so clearly. It forces me to rely on Him when personally, I haven't gone through any significant hardships. Taking on bigger concerns than my own shows me that God is bigger than I thought. And better.
I've seen God do so much for students this year. It makes me almost excited to have new things to bring before Him. I feel like the widow whom Elijah told to collect empty jars from neighbors so there'd be more room for the oil that poured out from her tiny container. That's where I am now, piling up the jars and waiting expectantly for grace to start brimming over.
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5 comments:
It is wonderful that you are able to know the needs of your students! I've prayed that God will let your jars be filled in overflowing abundance, and that you will find ways to speak about Him without trouble.
I had not known that you were forced to leave for a while. Perhaps earlier blog posts say so, but what did you do in the meantime?
No, sorry, I wasn't forced to leave - that student was. They're back now because Logos is so superior to the other school, not because the parents have softened on Christianity. I'm so thankful that I can speak freely with students, even if they can't with their parents.
Thanks so much for praying!
Ah, good. What is the general religious climate like there in Cambodia? Parents seem not so fond of Christianity.
The government currently gives a lot of freedom to any group willing to bring money and resources for the country's development. They recognize that Christians are bringing many positive changes to healthcare, education, and so on here.
Most Cambodians are folk Buddhists (Buddhism/animism mix), and tend to be more observant than in most neighboring countries. About 2-3% are Christian. However, there's no terrorism against Christians: resistance comes more from friends and family, not organized groups.
Logos is very explicit with parents about being a Christian school. Parents know their child will attend Bible class, and the principal even asks parents when their child enrolls, "What if your child became a Christian here? What would you think?" A lot of parents are willing to overlook the Christian aspect because it's a quality school at a reasonable cost. Some tell their children not to listen to Christian instruction; others don't really care.
All pain, no matter how small, and all joy, no matter how great, matters to God. This beautiful entry of yours made me think of one of my favorite songs:
Nothing is lost on the breath of God, nothing is lost forever. God's breath is love, and that love shall remain, holding the world forever.
No feather too light, no hair too fine, no flower too brief in its glory, no drop in the ocean, no dust in the air, but is counted and told in God's story.
Nothing is lost to the eyes of God, nothing is lost forever; God sees with love, and that love will remain, holding the world forever.
No journey too far, no distance too great, no valley of darkness too blinding; no creature too humble, no child too small, for God to be seeking and finding.
Nothing is lost to the heart of God, nothing is lost forever. God's heard is love, and that love will remain, holding the world forever.
No impulse of love, no office of care, no moment of life in its fullness; no beginning to late, no ending too soon, but is gathered and known in its goodness.
I'll keep praying for you, dear friend!
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