Belonging, Part 2: Definition Essay

This essay had to consist of 250-400 words defining our topic the way that we want the reader to perceive it.  It had to use at least three definition techniques.  I chose to define "belonging" through its... 

1. origins and causes,

2. examples, and 

3. results and effects.

Everybody wants to belong; it’s a powerful desire that can be pursued in either positive or negative ways.  The word “belong” contains “be” and “long:” could they be related?  Doesn’t being in a place or with someone for a long while make you more likely to feel as though you are accepted and connected?  But they don’t always go together – sometimes we feel excluded or “other” though we’ve been there all along.  The idea of belonging must go back to the Garden of Eden, when God made Adam and Eve for each other and put them in the perfect place for them.  They had total unity with each other, God, and the garden.  Ever since they were banished and that harmony was broken, humans have had a longing (is that related to “be-longing” too?) for that sense of connection and fitting.

There are many ways to belong.  Some are superficial, like joining a club.  Others are informal: a common interest can connect fellow fans of manga or skateboarding.  But in a deeper sense, belonging is more complicated: how do I determine if I truly belong in this group of friends or that culture?  Our attempts at belonging can be painful and slow: many adopted children feel at times, even if they’ve been in a family practically since birth, that they don’t fully belong to that family.  Christians belong completely to God’s family the minute we accept Him, and yet it takes a lifetime or longer to realize it and unwrap its implications.

When we feel that we belong, we feel at peace and free to be ourselves.  When that feeling is missing, it can cause trouble.  Sometimes it leads to restlessness: we keep searching out new people, places, or contexts where we might fit in better.  Sometimes it leads to despair and self-loathing, or to denial and rejection of that person/group/place.  Many people feel insecure and on the fringe, as if they almost belong but not completely.  They might try to prove themselves by conforming or showing off, or by distancing themselves by people further from the center than they are.  That’s sometimes the cause of bullying: people exclude others in order to prove that they are included.  Belonging seems fragile and uncertain, but when we are sure of it, it’s deeply satisfying and builds our confidence.