Exploring the World...through Microsoft Excel

A couple of you (namely, my parents) have requested an update on my job. It’s continued to involve lots of “translation tables” (Excel spreadsheets) between the old program, ABAS, and the new program, SAP. It also continues to involve down time – I rely on my co-workers, primarily a girl named Ebru who’s super-outgoing, to give me assignments. These typically last between 5 minutes and a couple of hours. Then I have to wait while she thinks of something else for me to do and finds time to explain it. During this time, I do things like...well, writing this post, for example.

I understand what’s being accomplished in a very broad sense, but I usually have only a faint idea of how my specific tasks fit into the plan. For example, I spent hours on Monday reformatting spreadsheets so that all the columns became rows. On Tuesday, it made more sense: I spent 8 straight hours (a record-long assignment!) printing out the hundreds of spreadsheets and putting them into binders. Since then, the temporary workers here this week have been poring over them and typing them into the new system. (Some are from other departments; others are from another German branch; others are college-age children of employees.) Ebru’s in charge of all of them, so I’m currently one of about 20 people competing to ask her questions. The system has to be in place by Monday, so it’s really crunch time.

I’ve learned some nifty tricks in Excel, like how to use formulas to fill in entire columns or how to search spreadsheets. (I hadn’t used Excel since 10th grade computer class, so it’s all new for me.) Another cool thing about all these spreadsheets is that I get a good sense of the company. I’ve seen lists of Suss' employees, their customers worldwide, the machines being sold, etc. This is more fun than you might think, because there’s a lot of “scope for the imagination.” A few of the gems I’ve found:

Vocabulary I’d like to start using:
Materialbelegnummerermittlung. Like all long German words, it’s made up of a bunch of smaller ones: Material is obvious, Beleg means “record,” Nummer means number, and Ermittlung is the noun form of “to determine.” All together, I’m not sure what it means. But I probably wouldn’t quite understand it in English, either. And it's a proven fact that using big words makes you sound smart.

Where I’d like to work:
Cheerful Technologies, Hong Kong. If I ever settle for an ordinary white-collar career, I’d like to know that I’m spreading joy in the world by selling happy machines.

Where I’d like to move:
Avenue des Anenomes, France. It sounds like an address out of “Finding Nemo.”
Snezhinsk, Russia. Gesundheit!

Where I’m getting my Master’s Degree:
Uppsala University, Sweden. This sounds a lot like what I’ve heard people say for “Oops” – a blend of the German word Hoppla and the newer word Ups borrowed from our word. I would love to have a diploma from here.
Institut sverhvysokochastotnoi, Russia. No explanation needed.